10 Films EVERY college student must see

This isn’t one of them stupid lists of obscure films that no one has heard of. I’m going to give you a list of films that EVERY college student simply has to see! This is going to be done along the lines of High Fidelity, where the stuff mentioned isn’t in ascending or descending order, it’s simply a list of 10 things I consider important for this topic which is:

10 Films EVERY college student must see!

1) High Fidelity (2000)

I couldn’t mention this in the intro and not mention it in this list. This film is famous among students for the “Top 5″ lists and it encourages it. This film is the most wonderful film in the world to watch when you’re trying to get to know someone, in fact I’d go as far as saying that it’s a great “first date” movie. This film has everything, it has good tunes, good jokes, and an excellent storyline. It’s got John Cusack, a guy who I’ve yet to find a lady who doesn’t like. It can even be classed as a romantic comedy, but if you’re trying to get a guy-friend to like it, don’t tell him about that part. Anyway, to give you an idea of the movie, here’s a clip:

If that hasn’t gotten you interested, especially the fact that Drake Bell (from Drake and Josh) can be spotted in it, take a look at this:

2) Lord Of The Rings (The full trilogy)

Do I really need to mention this? The Lord Of The Rings marathon is something that EVERY college student must try at least once. It involves playing all 3 extended version DVD’s of this series back to back. Very few have made it out the other side without falling asleep because lets face it, at nearly 3.5 hours for each film, you’re going to be worn out by the end. I’m not going to bother posting videos, everyone knows what I’m talking about. With ground-breaking special effects and absolutely flawless casting, Peter Jackson has a lot to be proud of.

Ah feck it, lets put in a clip! THEY’RE TAKING THE HOBBITS TO ISENGARD!

3) The Big Lebowski (1998)

This film is one that will strike a chord with absolutely everyone! Jeffrey Lebowski gets caught up in a whole massive situation all because he shares his name with a big-time rich guy. What starts off as an innocent attempt at getting his rug cleaned after 2 guys come into his house, put his head in a toilet and urinate on his rug; turns into a completely off the wall story about just how messed up life can get! The moral of the story is of course that everything will be okay in the end. This film made a little drink known as the “White Russian” famous! Everyone who has seen this film is also aware of the wonderful drinking game where you have a White Russian whenever The Dude has one. CLIP!

4) Withnail and I (1987)

This film is certainly one for those of you who have been on a really bad holiday! Where everything seems to go haywire for you but everyone else seems to be having a great time. This film follows two out of work actors in London during the late 1960′s, who are beginning to discover that they aren’t exactly fond of their somewhat unkempt lifestyle in their dingy little Camden flat. They decide amongst themselves that they are going to go for an idyllic holiday in the country to refresh themselves, but in the end it shows them just the kind of person each of them are. I found it to be an alternative coming of age film where all the characters find their lives going in different directions by the end of the film. Wonderfully humorous, it teaches college students a much-needed lesson. Eventually you have to leave college… There are those who are perfectly happy where they are and will never leave, those who spend most of their time on drugs, those who stayed too long and wind up spending their time awash in a sea of memory and those who stayed long enough to realise that they need to go somewhere new before they became like the other three. I watch this film at least every 2 weeks, I quite enjoy it. Lets have a clip eh?

5) This is Spinal Tap (1984)

Again we have another comedy, and this time it takes the form of a “rock-unemtary” if you will. Spinal Tap are the world’s loudest band! Marty DeBergi follows the band as they do an American comeback tour and winds up filming them as the band goes through a complete crisis. Interspersed with some absolutely amazing tunes, this film would provide endless entertainment. It’s been referenced millions of times by many comedy shows, too many to mention in fact, the most famous quote being when they take a look at the album cover for “Smell The Glove” and it turns out to be all black and Nigel Tufnel says,

“It’s like, how much more black could this be? and the answer is none… None more black…”

Anyway, to get you in the mood, here’s a clip:

6) Monty Python – The Holy Grail (1975) and The Life of Brian (1979)

These two films have to be mentioned side by side. The two films are almost frighteningly famous! If I think of films that people have to see, I always think of these two. Monty Python is a group of comedians famous for their surreal humour but also for their quite imaginative songs. I really don’t think I could do it any justice, by describing them any further, so here is a song from each:

7) Almost Famous (2000)

Every college student adores the idea of the rock-star lifestyle. This film is one that keeps on giving, you’ve got a great plot, great casting, great sound-track, and above all else the movie’s ending leaves you with a warm fuzzy feeling inside. It follows the journey of William Miller, a budding journalist who winds up following a band called “Still Water” and documents the progress of the tour. Along the way, you see just how crap it can be “living the dream”… It reveals how success can bring out the worst in people, how no one can ever truly escape the real world and ultimately it shows you that even when the excrement hits the fan, you can still get through it and succeed. It’s a good feeling movie that shows the viewer that everyone has to work hard, and that everyone winds up in a rut, but that things always have a way of working themselves out. CLIPPITY CLIP CLIP!

8) Children of Men (2006)

When a movie is good, it has ways of proving this to you in the subtlest of ways and always within the first 10 minutes of the film. This is certainly one of them, and you can tell from the start that you are going to be glued to your seat with an expression of a mix of joy, horror and sheer amazement. This film shows a very dystopian view of the future, humanity has become infertile, people are simply living just to wind up dying. The world is in chaos, the American empire is over, Britain is now run by an extremely fascist government and in general things just aren’t that great. The movie keeps good momentum all the way though and you’ll find yourself in a state of constant cinematic satisfaction because every time you wind up saying to yourself,

“Oh it’d be great if…. SWEET MERCIFUL CRAP! IT JUST HAPPENED!”

So here’s a clip, well it’s a trailer, but you’ll love it:

9) Fight Club (1999)

This movie is certainly one worth seeing again and again, in fact you’ll more than likely wind up watching it over and over anyway. It’s centred around a character played by Edward Norton (who remains nameless) who needs a way to vent his frustrations in life. His frustration causes insomnia and so his doctor tells him to go to a support group for people with testicular cancer. He feels good after every session and realises that it helps him sleep, he winds up faking illnesses so that he can go to these meetings and vent his frustrations through crying. Eventually he meets Tyler Durden who introduces him to the idea of venting his frustrations and aggression through fighting, and the two of them wind up creating the Fight Club. This of course is not the end of the escalation of these issues and the fight club eventually becomes the anarchist group known as “Project Mayhem”. It’s all a load of fun, and really quite an interesting watch. I highly recommend it! Although, unlike High Fidelity, this wouldn’t be a film I’d recommend watching on a first date… Everyone will wind up seeing this film at some point in their lives, but there is no better time than during college, here’s the trailer:

10) Pulp Fiction (1994)

This is most definitely one of the greatest films from the last 20 years. It’s got the dry humour that’s always present in Tarantino films. It’s got the almost casual inclusion of violence. In fact, casual is the exact word that I would use to describe this film. Even when Jules’ speech towards the beginning of the movie is done in such a casual way that it scares you, you’re glad that you’re not the guy he’s talking to. Again, the sound track is amazing, the casting is amazing and the whole film just works! WATCH IT!

Honorable mentions:

The Last Waltz (1978) – Good for the tunes!

A Clockwork Orange (1971) – Good for the ultraviolence!

A Scanner Darkly (2006) – Just plain good!

L4yer Cake (2004) – Good for those who like a good gangster movie, sorry, I meant businessmen… Yes, coke-dealing businessmen…

Hope you guys enjoyed this wee list of mine, be sure to leave a comment if you think I left anything out. Also, be sure to follow me on twitter (@Felix_Barry). Check out the rest of the site while you’re at it too!

Have fun

Felix

Felix be twitterpated…

Oh yes dear readers, I have finally caved and went and got myself a twitter account. So if you want regular updates about what’s going on here and off the blog then click that follow button now!

LOOK! A HYPERLINK, GET IT!

Anti-somniac Review: Jeger-bombs

The jeger-bomb is strictly considered a cocktail. Why? It involves mixing various ingredients that wouldn’t normally be mixed to create an alcoholic beverage (non-alcoholic cocktails are just glorified juice drinks). Anyway, as a lot of you are probably aware, a Jeger-bomb involves 2 ingredients:

1. 1 shot of Jegermeister (alcohol)
2. 1 glass of your favourite energy drink (mixer)

The process of mixing these isn’t the traditional pour the mixer over the alcohol, it’s slightly more interesting. You have one shot of Jegermeister in a shot glass, and in another glass you pour your favourite energy drink. You then drop the shot (glass included) into the drink and chug it down as quickly as you can.

For this my energy drink of choice was Boost! which was one of the more pleasant energy drinks to consume. So lets begin:

As always we will be looking at this product covering four headings:

1. Cost
2. Taste
3. Effect
4. Side-effect

Cost:

In a bar? Very expensive, you’d get 2 of these for about €10. At a party? Surprisingly cheap! The bottle of Jegermeister comes to a grand total of about €25, and that contains enough shots for about 3 people to get pretty hammered. The Boost was still going for 2 for €2 so you got 2 litres of energy drink for nothing. All in all our entire alcoholic arsenal went for about €30. So it was about €10 each and each drink wound up costing us about €1.50 (Quite the saving eh?). So depending on where you buy this concoction the scores for cost are as follows:

Bar: 1 out of 5

Party: 5 out of 5

Average score: 3 out of 5

Taste:

A famous character once said that alcohol is the cause and solution to all of life’s problems. He wasn’t far wrong, the jegermeister complimented the Boost very well resulting in a much more tollerable flavour. It wasn’t too sweet, there was a hint of spice to it and my god was it easy to drink.

Taste: 4 out of 5

I know it would seem like I gave it one point short, but in all honesty, while it is a great tasting drink for a night on the razzle, it wouldn’t be something that you could spend a whole night drinking without adverse side-effects (read on to find out)

Effect:

To put it simply, this gets you drunk surprisingly quickly, or it at least seemed that way. After my second one of these, the Boost kicked in and I was bopping about the place and in general I was a hyper little b… darling. This was a very nice little effect I must say, although it made you thirsty. Due to your thirst you have another drink, then you have another, then you have another etc.

Score for effect: 5 out of 5

As far as giving you energy is concerned, this does the job and does it well. As far as getting you drunk is concerned. It does a pretty good job of it!

Side-effect:

Oh god! The worst part of an entire night of nothing but Jeger-bombs means that eventually after all of that sugar, you’re going to crash. You crash, and then you get hungover…. The worst part about all of this was the hangover, not only do you suffer from a sugar-crash but you’ve got the hangover to deal with and that’s seriously awful!

Score for side-effect: 0 out of 5

Drunkeness will occur after enough of these. You’ll make a fool of yourself from being both hyper and drunk meaning that while you have a load of energy, you’ll have no coordination worth speaking of so you wind up running around like you’re made of jelly. You should also be forewarned that you will wind up with a hangover that’d make a brain tumor look like a birthday present. for this reason, bad score for side-effect.

Overall:

This is a good drink to have on a night out. However you should drink it responsibly. Too many of these and you’ll be full of energy but your brain will be melted so doing anything cool is out of the question. Drink too many of these and you’ll be well on your way to making a fool of yourself.

Score overall:

Bar: 1 out of 5

Party: 3 out of 5

Average: 2 out of 5

While it tastes great, I can’t honestly give it a great score without considering the side-effect. It is ultimately lethal, it’ll get you drunk, this is good on one hand a bad on the other. The little voice in the back of my head told me that being full of caffeine and alcohol is never a good thing. The problem with this is that no matter what you do, you’re going to make a complete idiot of yourself. Why? Well you’ll be full of energy, but won’t have the necessary levels of coordination to allow you a proper outlet for this extra energy. I personally took the party option, along with 2 of my mates. The most prominent of these reactions was a great irritability between drinks. The effect of the caffeine (making you hyper) and the alcohol (slowing you down) meant that you were never quite sure if you were hyper or drunk. This frustrated all three of us, that being said, a good night was had by all. The next morning was a completely different story. When you wake up face-down on the couch, and your brain feels like it just beat up your skull for being so stupid last night, you kind of second guess the whole alcohol situation. That being said, as far as drinks go you could do a lot worse than a jeger-bomb. I very much recommend it, but as with all alcoholic things, drink responsibly and obey your local customs regarding alcohol.

Next time: Coca-Cola

Apologies:

Due to starting back in College, low funding, somewhat of a social life and work, I’ve wound up with a lot less time to work on this blog as I would have liked.

That being said, you’ll now be getting an Anti-somniac review every 2 weeks. Whenever I can I’ll include something less review-ish into the mix….

Anti-somniac Review: BURN!

I went to my local newsagent and found a few cans of Burn. This stuff seems to be difficult enough to find in Ireland, or perhaps it’s just me. Anyway, this product is definitely something worth reviewing because several bars, pubs and clubs over the last year or so have been doing promotions and burn has been very much in the foreground over the past year.

Lets start the review, as always we’ll be looking at this product considering 4 main headings:

1. Cost
2. Taste
3. Effect
4. Side-effect

Cost:

This product is heralded as being the one and only product that could properly rival red bull. At first glance, you’ve got a product that is in a slightly smaller can but sells for in or around the same price as Red Bull. This means that on average you’ll be paying between €2 and €3 depending on where you get it from. This means that cost is a definite downside for this product.

Score for cost: 2 out of 5

Surely the whole point of making a rival product is to make it somewhat cheaper in some way. In the case of Burn, it’s the same price. BAD MARKETING CONSULTANTS! BAD!

Taste:

Now here’s the interesting thing, it tastes almost exactly like the bovine equivalent. Which is good and bad at the same time. I don’t know why, but I was expecting to get something that either tasted better or gave you a bit more pep and Burn did neither. Drinking it was like trying to wolf down a bag of sugar. Sure it seems great when you start, but after a couple of mouthfulls you feel ill. This is what happens with this drink.

Score for taste: 2 out of 5

Effect:

Again I was disappointed with this product. It presented nothing different to me. In comparison to Red Bull, there were not discernable differences. I was hyper for a little while and then crashed. That being said, the effect did last for a sufficient amount of time for me to remain alert and productive in work. This of course is a good thing. So for this reason, it scores well:

Score for effect: 4 out of 5

While the taste and effect where no different to Red Bull, it can be noted that this isn’t necessarily a bad thing. Basically if you’re looking for an alternative to Red Bull when it’s not in stock, get Burn. Same overall cost for the same taste and effect.

Side-effect:

Like all caffeinated beverages, you are going to have to make regular trips to the bathroom. This drink was no exception, in 10 hours I had to make the trip too and from the bathroom about 20 times so be sure to wear comfortable shoes because you’ll be doing a lot of walking. Aside from that unsurprising side-effect there wasn’t much else to comment on. The side-effects are average, and nothing you can’t handle or would be surprised by.

Score for side-effect: 3 out of 5

Why? It’s average, there’s nothing else to say on the subject really.

Overall:

Overall score: 3 out of 5

This is an unsurprising drink that lives up to its name. It is a direct equivalent to Red Bull in almost every way and as such didn’t ring any bells with me. Get this product if the shop you’re in has run out of red bull. Aside from that, there’s no reason to bother with it.

Next time: JEGER-BOMBS!

Yes, I have a few days off and my next entry will be about the famous Jeger-bomb cocktail.

Until then, have fun

Felix.

As always, please read the disclaimer.

If you have any suggestions or comments to make, please be sure to either submit a comment or send an email to:

felixbarry@rocketmail.com

Anti-somniac Review: Boost!

This review starts with an apology. I know I said that I was going to review a product by the name of Burn. Due to a lack of stock in the shop, I shall be reviewing something completely different. So this week I shall be reviewing a drink by the name of Boost! Their website tells you all about the product range available, but what I will be reviewing is the regular Boost.

Again this is one of the many competitors to Red Bull and to be honest, it’s an awful lot more pleasant than the others reviewed before it.

As always, these reviews cover the four most important elements when making a decision on what product to use:

1. Cost
2. Taste
3. Effect
4. Side-effect

So lets begin:

Cost:

In Ireland, the most readily available form of this product is the one litre bottle. Yes, 1 litre of this stuff is quite a lot when you consider it’s mainstream bovinesque rival. This hefty quantity of additive infused carbonated liquid is going for around €1.50 per litre. This is extremely good value, and plus if you have a Dunnes Stores near you then you can get 2 of these 1 litre monstrosities for €2. Not bad at all, for this reason I really have to give it a high mark for value.

Score for cost: 5 out of 5

I really can’t see a problem with this product with regard to cost. Even without the special offer, it’s still great value for the quantity that you’re getting. Kick, is a close second at approximately €1.80 (I checked earlier today). This stuff is definitely at a price that even the most modest budget can afford.

Taste:

Unlike its bovine counterpart, it doesn’t have a very strong taste. That being said, the smell will get to you first and this stuff stinks! Open up a bottle of this, and for about a 6 foot radius by my nasal calculations you’ll get a strong enough stench to tell everyone around you that you’re drinking some form of toxic sludge. This nasally offended my work colleague and made him ask me why I’m allowing myself to drink this. That being said, it tastes fine, it’s a very subdued taste in comparison to products previously reviewed. It also doesn’t have that viscous, syrup-like feeling when you drink it, which is a definite plus.

Score for taste: 4 out of 5

So far, this product is doing well. It isn’t too expensive, but at the same time has a pleasant enough taste. It definitely shows promise, but what of the effect and side-effects.

Effect:

Just when I thought my search was over! Just when I thought I had found a product that was worth it! Just when I thought I finally found the potion of choice to keep you awake all night, Boost came along… AND DISAPPOINTED ME! To paraphrase Radioactive-man:

“This bottle does nothing! NOTHING!”. Yes my friends, this product is cheap for a reason, it’s like someone in the marketing department of Boost said, we’ll make this product and it’ll be just like Red Bull, but with a difference. I’m sorry, but after 22 years of existance, you can’t simply say that because something walks like a duck and has feathers means that it is a duck. NO! It could be any number of possible species of poultry! This product when poured into a glass, looks, smells and tastes like it’s an energy drink, but it’s missing the most vital characteristic to actually make it an energy drink! IT HAS TO GIVE YOU ENERGY! What I thought was the effect was actually just a sugar buzz from all the various additives, it did nothing! This is a major issue as I may as well have spent my money on something like a pan of bread and some milk instead of this stuff.

Score for effect: 0 out of 5

Yes, I gave it the lowest possible score for effect because it lies to you. The “boost” its name promises doesn’t exist, or doesn’t exist long enough to actually be considered a boost. I feel like someone offered me a cigarette and I wound up with a straw instead. Sure it’s the same general shape, but it’s not a cigarette! This product is the same, you’re being offered bottled energy and what you get can only be described as a disappointment.

Side-effect:

Oh I’m not done yet. This product also comes with one of the most annoying side-effects. After drinking just one glass of this I needed to use the bathroom so often you’d swear my bladder was on the fritz! I swear, every time I sat down I had to get back up again to go to the toilet. The other thing is that because of the high sugar content of this drink, you crash if you don’t keep drinking it. Yes, you read correctly, instead of giving you energy, this product seems to keep you at the energy level you were at when you started drinking with the added bonus of crashing if you don’t keep a steady supply of sugar in your veins.

This is a bad thing. Why? Well you can’t keep drinking this stuff every few minutes when you’re driving and keep your already strained eyes on the road. This basically means that you will crash on your way home from work or the library or wherever. This is a bad thing and needs to be considered.

Score for side-effect: 0 out of 5

Yes, this is something that is very serious. By promising your consumer that they are buying an energy drink you are leading them to believe that there will be a little bit of pep in their step having drunk this product. Instead you just barely have enough energy to remain at the same level of consciousness you had when you opened the bottle. This is not good, if you have to maintain a certain level of alertness, then this isn’t for you.

Overall:

Score overall: 2 out of 5

This gets a very modest 2 out of five. It’s only saving graces are the cost and the taste. I wouldn’t recommend this to ANYONE who needs to be awake all night. Why? It doesn’t help you stay awake from what I can see, I would have been better off hitting myself on the head with the bottle instead of drinking its contents to stay awake. Don’t drink this if you need to stay awake, it does nothing.

Next week: BURN! (I promise)

Have fun,

Felix

Disclaimer

Anti-somniac Review: Kick!

Yes, it’s that time again where I review yet another product designed to keep you awake for extended periods of time. Up until now I have looked at main brands and how they fair against the sleep deprived. This time we will be looking at the first of many generic versions of these products and see how they fair. This week we will be looking at a product offered by Tesco called Kick. This drink is said to be Tesco’s answer to Red Bull.

As always, this product will be reviewed under 4 headings:

1. Cost
2. Taste
3. Effect
4. Side-effect

With an overall review at the end. Lets begin:

Cost:

Like all generic products, the price difference between them and the “real” brand is quite large. In fact, where a single can of Red Bull costs about €2.50 per can, you can get this product for around 70c per can. So Kick is about 75% cheaper than it’s name-brand rival. Now along with the 250ml can, you can also get a 1 litre bottle for just under €2. This makes it possibly the best so far when it comes to value.

Score for cost: 4 out of 5

Now this is a very well priced product and it is perfect if you are a student or just plain strapped for cash and in need of a pick me up.

Taste:

The problem with this is that it really is a generic version of Red Bull. It tastes almost exactly the same, and here’s where it falls to pieces. Yet again I’m drinking something that was tapped from a nuclear reactor. It tastes like there are a million and one additives and that’s just not good at all. It tastes unbelievably sweet, to the point that you just feel ill after just one can. It’s like drinking fizzy syrup! To be honest, the more time I spend drinking this, the more I’m noticing that it’s got a stronger taste of nothing but additives than Red Bull.

Score for taste: 2 out of 5

It tastes god awful, but to be honest, at this stage it should be taken as a given that almost ALL energy drinks taste like liquid uranium. This isn’t the worst tasting energy drink that I’ve come across. That being said, don’t drink this if you’re like this and hate stuff that’s too sweet because this drink makes the term “too sweet” and blows it out of proportion.

Effect:

Ok, so it tastes vile, you’ll probably get diabetes after a couple of cans and you’ll get radiation poisoning if the colour and general texture are anything to go by. Yes I said texture! This thing is like a fizzy syrup like I’ve said already. However, with all of that complaining behind me, I have to say that it was as effective as it was disgusting. This stuff works, it it works well. Each can gives the same amount of pep as a Red Bull, but for some reason, the effect lasted a good bit longer.

Score for effect: 4 out of 5

I’m surprised at how well this works. When you think about a generic brand anything, you expect shoddy, half-assed products that are a mere shadow of the name-brand product. In this case, I would consider Kick to be a proper competitor to the name-brand products with regards to effect.

Side-Effect:

There is one major thing that this drink causes that to me is unpleasant. You know when you wake up in the morning, and your teeth feel like someone laminated them? Well, that’s the feeling you get after you drink a can of Kick. This is something that can easily be gotten over, but in reality, it’s something that’s quite unpleasant to deal with and you’re not going to be carrying a toothbrush around with you wherever you go. There was one very strange effect, for some reason I got really hungry while drinking this. I mentioned it to a friend of mine and he thought I was smoking some funky-jazz-cigarettes during my shift, but when I told him that I was just drinking Kick he laughed at the possibility that a drink could give you the munchies. So my advice is if you’re drinking this, have some food handy because you’re gonna get hungry.

Score for side-effect: 3 out of 5

Two points were taken away for the laminated teeth and the munchies. You have been warned, if you drink this, be sure to at least have some food with you. I wouldn’t expect someone to carry a toothbrush with them at all times, but then again, I have certain female friends who would (along with half the house).

Overall:

This is definitely for the generically minded. By that I mean students and those on a really tight budget. It’s got all the effect with just 2 minor side-effects that you could get over by acquiring a taste for it (god help you if you do). There’s not much else to say really.

Overall score: 3 out of 5

Even with the cost considered and everything, this drink boils down to being very average. While it is cheap, it tastes awful and comes with 2 side-effects I’d rather not deal with. I would recommend it to those who have a deadline but don’t have too much cash on them. Aside from that, I can’t really say much else.

On the next Anti-somniac Review: BURN!

That’s it for this time,

Felix

Disclaimer

Anti-somniac Review: SURPRISE! [Nothing]

Yes, due to budgetary constraints I’ve decided to do a review to act as a control. By budgetary constraints, I mean I have no money to spend on fancy energy drinks which means I’m sitting here without caffeine trying to remain sane as the nightly hours pass me by. Rather than just leave you with nothing, I’m going to do something about nothing and do an entry entirely on the effects of using nothing at all to help you through a nightshift.

The only things that I have allowed myself access to are the following:

• Water
• Cigarettes
• Internet

Everything else has been left in the car and I will not be going anywhere near the coffee.

This review will take on a different format to the usual, I shall be documenting my physical and mental state as time progresses. This night shift started at 10pm and to be honest, I’ve still got a lot of energy remaining from when I had dinner (which was a roast chicken dinner, thank you very much) so I will begin this review from 11pm. So lets begin:

On this week’s Anti-somniac Review: [Nothing]

11pm: Signs are showing.

As is to be expected, my energy levels are quickly dropping. It started around 20 minutes ago when I spent about 10 minutes trying to convince a caller that they had dialled the wrong number and that I wasn’t playing a practical joke on behalf of someone named “Gerry”. Mark my words, if I find this Gerry person I shall kill him! After I have a nap of course.

Midnight: Yawn….

After 2 hours with no caffeine I’m starting to show the signs. In the time it’s taken me to write this section thus far I’ve yawned at least 4 times and had to correct my spelling as many times. It’s starting to show in my work as well, I’m not able to remember what people are saying to me when I take a phone call.

I’m also looking up the effects of excessive tiredness on the interwebs. Apparently, if I’m at this stage of tiredness where concentration starts to go then I shouldn’t operate heavy machinery e.g. a JCB. That doesn’t seem so bad, I never knew how to operate a JCB in the first place, so there’s no real change then.

1am: Is that a second wind or just gas?

Yes, it’s 1am and at this time of night I feel like I’m about to fall over and die. However, I do have a little bit of extra energy. I feel awake physically, but my brain seems to be backfiring. I’ve mixed up words in sentences and everything. I’ll give you an example,

What I thought I said, “Could I get a contact name and number please?”

What I actually said, “Could I contact your name and get its number?”

*sings* Oh seven hours to go and I think I’m gonna die!

2am: Gravy! ¬_¬

I can’t get that god damned Bisto gravy song out of my head,

“Gimme gravy, on my mashed potato. Gimme gravy, come on and treat me right. Gimme gravy, baby your the gravy so gimme gimme gimme gimme gravy tonight!”

While I love gravy, I hate this song! Gah! I can’t make my brain shut up! Stop singing that stupid song!

3am: WHAT WAS THAT!?!

That song is out of my head for now. I’ve noticed that I’m quite paranoid and jumpy. There are foxes outside that are barking at one another intermittently and I’m getting freaked out. I don’t know why, they’re just foxes, little small dog-like creatures that attack chickens and rummage in bins. I’m neither a chicken or a bin, so there’s quite a low risk that the fox will decide to rummage or attack me. I’m not worried about the attacking as much as I am about the rummaging to be honest.

4am: FOUR O’CLOCK AND ALL’S WELL!

Those foxes have gone off to do foxy things elsewhere. That sounds dirty… Look at you reading this, thinking dirty thoughts about the foxy foxes. GAH! ENOUGH FURRY STUFF! It’s 4am and I feel fine again. I seem to be getting used to being awake unassisted. I can’t help but shake this somewhat drunk feeling. I’m beginning to see why they told me to stay away from JCB’s earlier… Probably not a bad idea… Either way, we’re on the home stretch now.

5am: Oh I’m beginning to go…

Yup, 3 hours to go and I’m ready for my bed. I’m so tired right now that if I stare at the screen for longer than a few seconds my vision gets unfocused and all the letters on the screen start to make lovely little pictures, then I suddenly realise that I’m falling asleep and snap back into reality. If I was in bed, I’d love this stage of tiredness, that point where you’re not quite asleep, but you’re not quite awake either. Right now it’s hell, I’m sitting on a swivel chair (which I have spun around on for the last hour to stay awake), it’s getting really uncomfortable and I want to go home. Yes, I want to go home to my nice warm bed, my lovely (new I might add) pillows and a strange duvet I got last year that I keep getting tangled in with no evidence as to how it could have happened. Eitherway, I’m getting seriously tired, my concentration is nil, in fact, my brain has officially clocked out and I’m running on complete backup power at this stage.

6am: Trying to get serious… Trying…

After about 8 hours of doing next to nothing I have decided to get serious! I am NOT going to let this tiredness get the better of me. I am NOT going to fall asleep. I’m tempted, but I won’t. I tried to do some filing, that didn’t go well at all. I spent about 10 minutes trying to figure out where the letter S came in the alphabet, then spent a few minutes giggling at the word “came”. I feel stoned, in fact I highly recommend that if there is no good weed around that you just stay awake for inhuman amounts of time until you wind up in a quasi-conscious state where you can’t make sense of everything. I also have a strange craving for a fried egg and cheese sandwich, I’ve never had one before so I’ll make one when I get home and let you all know how tasty it was.

7am: Give me bed! Give me all the bed!

It’s official, I’m really tired. Things are getting really annoying now. I can’t make sense of what people ringing in are saying anymore. I’m asking the same question over and over again. Callers are getting more and more frustrated as I try to get a hold of what’s going on. I stand by what I said an hour ago, I feel stoned, the bad kind of stoned. The kind where you just want to sleep it off.

8am: It’s all over!

I’m going home….

Overall score for nothing: 0 out of 5

I’m writing this section at 7pm after about 9 hours sleep and a whole load of coffee. Pulling an all-nighter with nothing to aid you sucks. I’ve spent the majority of my time correcting as much of the spelling and grammar as I could. It’s like getting drunk by yourself, it’s just depressing. If you want my advice, get some coffee or something if you wish to last an entire night! I barely managed it. I don’t recommend this to anyone at all. Your general state of mind winds up similar to that of being stoned or drunk, but without the fun of spending a few hours giggling with your mates. You’re just there, your thoughts are like random sparks from a fire, they seem like they’ll do something but then they fizzle out into nothingness. If you’re spending your time trying to get an essay done or meet a deadline in work, get some coffee, get some red bull, get something! I was so tired after all of this that I couldn’t sleep, I had to drink 2 cups of coffee to perk myself up a bit in order to get asleep. I’m never doing this EVER again!

On the next Anti-somniac Review: Kick!

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Disclaimer:

As always, these reviews are being done to show you the effectiveness (and the effects) of using various commercially available products (or lack thereof in this case) as an aid to staying up all night. I can not and will not accept any responsibility for any physical, medical or psychological problems that may occur as a result of using any of these products reviewed on this blog. In other words, if you decide to do what I do, it’s your responsibility.

Anti-Somniac Review: Lucozade Alert

Apologies for getting the name of this product wrong in my last post. This time we’re looking at Lucozade Alert:

As always we will review this product covering 4 categories.

1. Cost
2. Taste
3. Effect
4. Side-effects

If you’re Irish or have ever been to Ireland, you’ll have come across Lucozade. The original version of this product resembles red lemonade and has got lots of glucose to help you get a little pep in your step. However recently they’ve come out with a new product called “Lucozad Active”. So lets take a look at how good it is:

So what’s the price of this elixir?

For starters, this product like every other energy drink is somewhat more expensive than the regular fizzy drink product line. This little black bottle is about €1.50 to €2 depending on where you go. So it’s not great when it comes to cost. That being said, it does have a lot going for it. The product looks good, and to be honest it wasn’t half bad when it came to taste. However the overall quantity being barely even a can’s worth of a drink makes it quite expensive in reality.

Score for cost: 2 out of 5

It’s safe to say, the price is a major letdown…

What of the taste?

This is getting mixed reviews with regards to its taste. Personally speaking, I liked it. It was quite nice to drink an energy drink that didn’t taste like it’d mutate you after prolonged exposure to it. It promised a lemonade taste (lemon and lime) but it didn’t quite hit the mark on that one. It tastes like lemonade but as if the flavour is filtered somehow. One person describes it as tainted lemonade, and I would be inclined to agree, but it’s not a bad tasting drink really.

Score for taste: 3 out of 5

This drink really didn’t set off any alarms. It didn’t taste bad, but it wasn’t great either.

So does it work?

Yes and no. It does give you a bit of pep in your step, but it’s nothing major. You’ll find that even drinking this quickly doesn’t really result in much of a reaction at all. That being said, my father tried one of these and his blood pressure went WAY up, so there’s definitely something in it that does something.

Score for effect: 0 out of 5

This really did nothing worth mentioning and that is a major problem. You spend almost €2 per bottle only to get a really small amount of it. You then drink it expecting something to happen and nothing. It is a let down, and more importantly, it’s unreliable. You can’t count on this to do an all nighter, you may as well be drinking water the whole time.

Side-effects?

The most dangerous thing about this is that it doesn’t work. Claiming to have increased caffein levels and everything, it still manages to  come up short for the goods. That being said, there was one really unpleasant thing, after drinking this product, you get this really syrup-like taste that won’t shift. It’s like when you wake up in the morning and your teeth feels like someone covered it in cling film.

The main thing that needs to be emphasised is the fact that it doesn’t actually perk you up at all. So it’s got no effects at all, and side-effects are almost non-existant. As such, it gets a really low rating because driving home was a nightmare and in general staying awake was a chore.

Score for side-effects: 0 out of 5

I wouldn’t recommend this for anyone trying to stay awake. It’s useless and it’s lack of effect only serves to highlight the fact that staying up all night is never a wise move.

What is the overall opinion?

Well to be honest, it’s a tastey drink in general but as a potion of choice, it is very much low in rank. It’d be useful if you just want something to give you a little kick, but if you are trying to get anything done then avoid this product.

Overall score: 1 out of 5

This stuff really isn’t worth it at all. It tastes nice and everything, but when it comes to actually keeping you awake, it just falls so short of the mark you feel bad for it because it made all that effort to make itself look good. It’s like you’re in a pub, you see this great looking girl only to notice that she’s got a voice like Grover from Sesame street.

On the next Anti-somniac review: Kick

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Disclaimer:

As always, these reviews are intended for those who occasionally wish to pull an all-nighter and survive. If you choose to do this, whether occasionally or on a regular basis, you do so at your own risk and I hereby proclaim that I shall not take responsibility for any health issues that may arise as a result of pulling an all-nighter (whether you occasionally or regularly stay up all night).

Anti-somniac Review: “Rockstar Energy Drink”

So this is the first Red Bull rip-off that I shall be trying out. It is one of the few Red Bull rip-off’s that actually seems to have made it into being a product in itself. You should look at their website, it boasts all kinds of stuff like the fact that it sponsors a music festival as well as having some skateboarder endorse it and everything.

So lets get down to business and review Rockstar Energy Drink!

As always we will be covering the 4 most important headings:

1. Cost
2. Taste
3. Effect
4. Side-effects

What kind of money are we talking about?

A single can of Rock Star costs the same amount as 1 can of Red Bull, however the difference is that you get twice the amount of strange urine-coloured energy drink. Come to think of it, I’m starting to see a bit of a pattern here….

Score: 3 out of 5

It’s got a nice amount of liquid for the amount you pay, however it’s still expensive. This one isn’t cheap, but it’s not expensive either.

What about taste?

The look and smell would convince you that Red Bull was the culprit, but the taste is somewhat different to it’s bovine competitor. Instead of a taste of nothing but sugar and additives, this is a lot more subtle. Because it doesn’t taste as sweet and sickly as Red Bull, you don’t really notice the fact that you’re consuming a drink that’s got so many additives in it you’d probably get cancer from reading the label.

That being said, in all seriousness, it’s a lot more pleasant to drink than Red Bull.

Score: 3 out of 5

It gets a 3 because it doesn’t taste as bad as the previous options, but it doesn’t taste great either. Rock Star is easy enough to drink, but isn’t exactly fun to consume at the same time. So it gets a nice middle of the road mark.

What of the effect?

Each can has 500ml in them and because of the more subtle taste you wind up drinking it a hell of a lot quicker. However, there comes a drawback! Even though you get more in quantity, the effect itself is somewhat less. I left work very much fatigued, and by my calculations, each can gives about a half an hour of alertness followed by another half hour of being in a daze. The only way you could pull an all nighter with this stuff would be if you had one every hour. Problem is, you’d get diabetes after about 2 hours from the amount of sugar and crap you’ve taken in in that period of time.

Score: 2 out of 5

Side-effects:

None… I was wrecked when I got out of work and the drive home was hell!

Score: 4 out of 5.

You may think I’ve given it a high mark, but it’s got no real effect at all. Sure you get a bit of pep in your step, but you’re not running up the walls. The effect only lasts for about a half an hour and after that you’re back to the beginning running on fumes. So it gets 4 out of 5 because lets be honest, while it tastes good, you may as well have been drinking juice.

Overall score:  3 out of 5

This score moreso reflects the taste and cost element of things. It is a great tasting drink in comparison to those gone before it in this review, but it’s got next to no effect. This means that what you’re dealing with is a relatively harmless drink in my opinion. You can use it and garauntee that you’ll be sleeping after you’ve pulled an all nighter.

I know this was a bit of a crap review, to be honest, there’s not much to talk about when it comes to this product at all. It tastes all right, it has a bit of an effect, but not much. It’s average in every sense of the word.

On the next Anti-somniac Review: “Lucozade Active”