Anti-somniac Review: Kick!
Yes, it’s that time again where I review yet another product designed to keep you awake for extended periods of time. Up until now I have looked at main brands and how they fair against the sleep deprived. This time we will be looking at the first of many generic versions of these products and see how they fair. This week we will be looking at a product offered by Tesco called Kick. This drink is said to be Tesco’s answer to Red Bull.
As always, this product will be reviewed under 4 headings:
- Cost
- Taste
- Effect
- Side-effect
With an overall review at the end. Lets begin:
Cost:
Like all generic products, the price difference between them and the “real” brand is quite large. In fact, where a single can of Red Bull costs about €2.50 per can, you can get this product for around 70c per can. So Kick is about 75% cheaper than it’s name-brand rival. Now along with the 250ml can, you can also get a 1 litre bottle for just under €2. This makes it possibly the best so far when it comes to value.
Score for cost: 4 out of 5
Now this is a very well priced product and it is perfect if you are a student or just plain strapped for cash and in need of a pick me up.
Taste:
The problem with this is that it really is a generic version of Red Bull. It tastes almost exactly the same, and here’s where it falls to pieces. Yet again I’m drinking something that was tapped from a nuclear reactor. It tastes like there are a million and one additives and that’s just not good at all. It tastes unbelievably sweet, to the point that you just feel ill after just one can. It’s like drinking fizzy syrup! To be honest, the more time I spend drinking this, the more I’m noticing that it’s got a stronger taste of nothing but additives than Red Bull.
Score for taste: 2 out of 5
It tastes god awful, but to be honest, at this stage it should be taken as a given that almost ALL energy drinks taste like liquid uranium. This isn’t the worst tasting energy drink that I’ve come across. That being said, don’t drink this if you’re like this and hate stuff that’s too sweet because this drink makes the term “too sweet” and blows it out of proportion.
Effect:
Ok, so it tastes vile, you’ll probably get diabetes after a couple of cans and you’ll get radiation poisoning if the colour and general texture are anything to go by. Yes I said texture! This thing is like a fizzy syrup like I’ve said already. However, with all of that complaining behind me, I have to say that it was as effective as it was disgusting. This stuff works, it it works well. Each can gives the same amount of pep as a Red Bull, but for some reason, the effect lasted a good bit longer.
Score for effect: 4 out of 5
I’m surprised at how well this works. When you think about a generic brand anything, you expect shoddy, half-assed products that are a mere shadow of the name-brand product. In this case, I would consider Kick to be a proper competitor to the name-brand products with regards to effect.
Side-Effect:
There is one major thing that this drink causes that to me is unpleasant. You know when you wake up in the morning, and your teeth feel like someone laminated them? Well, that’s the feeling you get after you drink a can of Kick. This is something that can easily be gotten over, but in reality, it’s something that’s quite unpleasant to deal with and you’re not going to be carrying a toothbrush around with you wherever you go. There was one very strange effect, for some reason I got really hungry while drinking this. I mentioned it to a friend of mine and he thought I was smoking some funky-jazz-cigarettes during my shift, but when I told him that I was just drinking Kick he laughed at the possibility that a drink could give you the munchies. So my advice is if you’re drinking this, have some food handy because you’re gonna get hungry.
Score for side-effect: 3 out of 5
Two points were taken away for the laminated teeth and the munchies. You have been warned, if you drink this, be sure to at least have some food with you. I wouldn’t expect someone to carry a toothbrush with them at all times, but then again, I have certain female friends who would (along with half the house).
Overall:
This is definitely for the generically minded. By that I mean students and those on a really tight budget. It’s got all the effect with just 2 minor side-effects that you could get over by acquiring a taste for it (god help you if you do). There’s not much else to say really.
Overall score: 3 out of 5
Even with the cost considered and everything, this drink boils down to being very average. While it is cheap, it tastes awful and comes with 2 side-effects I’d rather not deal with. I would recommend it to those who have a deadline but don’t have too much cash on them. Aside from that, I can’t really say much else.
On the next Anti-somniac Review: BURN!
That’s it for this time,
Felix
